Skip to main content

180+ seconds loading site - how to fix [sic]


I came across a site that has a loading time of 180+seconds. When discussing about how to fix such sites, a person who has steep corporate culture/experience, informed these notes. Very interesting...

Politics... Politics...
Create more and more politics. Create politics on URLs, labels, design and any weird things. Also, create mad/unnecessary competition--competition without any excellence.

Hype... Hype...
Create fake hype around the crap site. Make everyone speaks about it.

Team building = poaching!
Look for good performers in other team and poach them. Break other team through sneaky attempts. Get help of cabals.

Factoid... Factoid...
Spread rumors and factoids about other teams.

Appraisals... Appraisals...
Recommend more and more appraisals for sycophants.

Flexibility... Flexibility...
Treat sycophants like scientists and throw them with flexible timings. Still defend them so that you'll also be praised.

Time++ Time++
Develop the project for 13+ months; remember 13 is a lucky number. Still throw more and more time.

Vengeance... Vengeance...
When smart people question about performance of the site, take vengeance and fire them with smile.

Cartoonish rainbow web designs
Keep kids and sycophants around so that they'll always "appreciate" cartoonish designs. Kill readability and visibility with multiple colors. (Read Steve Jobs' take on ESPN phone)
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Interview question #1

Since I have been asked to interview experienced PHP programmers, I was preparing few interview questions. I came to know, most of the people ask questions found in the Internet; most of them are like "What is the function used to connect MySQL DB in PHP". Personally, I don't like these types of questions; I'd thought the person must apply ideas what he was taught in colleges--finally I came out with one question: A product vendor has Quantity Vs. Price data like 1 -> Rs. 50 2 -> Rs. 95 3 -> Rs. 140 .... like upto 1 million data. He wants a system, which gives the price when the quantity is provided. For example, if you provide the quantity value as 2, then it should provide Rs. 95. How this system can be designed? As expected, all the people said about using database tables and quering on quantity. I have asked them to find out a system which doesn't use databases--provided the accuracy of the system may not be 100%--it may give at least 90% ac...
7 comments
Read more

Teachers' Kids: The Topper Syndrome

Tao Te Ching Fill your bowl to the brim and it will spill. Keep sharpening your knife and it will blunt. Chase after money and security and your heart will never unclench. Care about people's approval and you will be their prisoner. Do your work, then step back. The only path to serenity.
Post a Comment
Read more

RIP: MOOC materials; the coronavirus effect

Coronavirus (Covid 19 caused by SARS-CoV-2) pandemic and lockdown disrupted lives and market in a completely unexpected manner. One market that seen a spike during lockdown is MOOC and online education. What I realized of late is that many of these MOOC materials are not suitable for remote viewing. I have taken a couple of courses in random pseudonyms in Coursera and also another one in my real name in PadhAI conducted by IIT faculties. Most of these materials were recorded in a way as if they teach in physical classrooms. Because of that reason, they're very tiring to watch; they lack some basic video editing. Compare that to animated education videos posted to YouTube. One exception to this MOOC material is MIT 6.S191: Introduction to Deep Learning (I'm yet to watch them all though) Classical teaching jobs are in danger These days schools are starting up online classes that follow materials similar to these MOOCs. Students are finding hard to follow them as they're...
Post a Comment
Read more