Skip to main content

180+ seconds loading site - how to fix [sic]


I came across a site that has a loading time of 180+seconds. When discussing about how to fix such sites, a person who has steep corporate culture/experience, informed these notes. Very interesting...

Politics... Politics...
Create more and more politics. Create politics on URLs, labels, design and any weird things. Also, create mad/unnecessary competition--competition without any excellence.

Hype... Hype...
Create fake hype around the crap site. Make everyone speaks about it.

Team building = poaching!
Look for good performers in other team and poach them. Break other team through sneaky attempts. Get help of cabals.

Factoid... Factoid...
Spread rumors and factoids about other teams.

Appraisals... Appraisals...
Recommend more and more appraisals for sycophants.

Flexibility... Flexibility...
Treat sycophants like scientists and throw them with flexible timings. Still defend them so that you'll also be praised.

Time++ Time++
Develop the project for 13+ months; remember 13 is a lucky number. Still throw more and more time.

Vengeance... Vengeance...
When smart people question about performance of the site, take vengeance and fire them with smile.

Cartoonish rainbow web designs
Keep kids and sycophants around so that they'll always "appreciate" cartoonish designs. Kill readability and visibility with multiple colors. (Read Steve Jobs' take on ESPN phone)

Labels

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

RTaKeyman Bookmarklet v2.0

RTaKeyman The above bookmarklet is for English to Tamil transcription. This should work like a Input Method Editor on web page forms. The first version I tried didn't work well and so this bookmarklet version. Version 2.0 2004-12-27 1.0 2004-12-12 Usage Make a bookmarklet with the above link. Point to a web page where you want to enter Tamil characters and click the bookmarklet. This will initialize the keyman for that page. Then start typing on the forms; RTaKeyman will transcribe the characters whenever it sees a space, carriage return and tab. To-do Turning on/off keyman (i.e., to enter both Tamil and English). Help and other user interfaces. Credits Sundar for informing the necessity and for being a beta tester
5 comments
Read more

BehaviorS.js - An alternative to Behaviour.js, event:Selectors and Low Pro libs for unobtrusive JavaScript programming

BehaviorS.js yet another unobtrusive JavaScript library similar to Behaviour.js and event:Selectors but in implementation uses hash based lookup without extending elements; so presumably it should be faster than the rest. The original script and idea was by JLof ; I extended it for DOMContentLoaded support, optimized a bit to avoid scanning of more depths, and added new rules support. I wanted to document the plug a long time and just got time to do it. For the time being BehaviorS.js is available here Update (2006-09-11) : Coralized the link to BehaviorS.js so as to save the load on free brinkster.com webpage Update (2006-09-27) : If the coralized link to BehaviorS.js doesn't work, use http://www21.brinkster.com/guideme/BehaviorS/ Update (2025-06-07) : Now available in https://github.com/rrjanbiah/behaviorsjs
17 comments
Read more

Problems with CakePHP - follow-up

Some people have responded including the Datepicker fame Marc Grabanski . So, this follow-up... First of all, I was not ranting nor complaining; I've just blogged/documented my experience. The common problem most of the people pointed out are that it scales for addons.mozilla.com. Those who have accessed their source code can understand that they've done lot of things and also the site is not database-intensive. You should really create a real database-intensive website to understand what I mean. The other point that been pointed out is about open source and community. Lot of people may not be knowing that it's 2 people pushing it and don't want others to be credited . The generic model or dynamic model idea was originally been from grigri and Marcel . It's hard to be called as open source as only few and sycophants are driving it's direction (I'm not talking about svn access) So, here are my humble checklist before you start shouting at me Did you read a...
2 comments
Read more