There’s an old saying that, 50 years ago, babies in South India would take 40 days to open their eyes—while today, they open them within minutes. Similarly, people used to believe that breastfeeding worked as a natural family planning method for up to five years about a century ago, but now, they say evolution has overridden that too.
Along those lines, I wonder—has evolution diminished motherhood itself, or have we simply misunderstood and overburdened it?
Although I don’t actively follow the news much these days, I still come across troubling stories—particularly from Tamil Nadu—where mothers have harmed or even killed their own children. In one viral video, a husband explains how his wife, addicted to Instagram reels, finds it too inconvenient to feed their child and calls him during work hours to do it instead.
It raises a disturbing question: Are some Tamil mothers starting to see their own children as burdens—or is it the act of caregiving that feels burdensome? Perhaps both. Addictions like gossip, social media validation, and the urge to show off are playing a growing role, enabled by smartphones and social platforms.
But maybe we’ve also misunderstood the concept of motherhood itself—especially in Tamil society. Not long ago, the traditional Tamil family was often a joint family, where the responsibility of child-rearing didn’t fall solely on the mother. Someone else in the extended family—often a less privileged member—would take on that role.
When society transitioned from joint families to nuclear ones, the change was gradual. Initially, it was still a nuclear family plus grandparents. During that period, much of the childcare burden fell on the grandparents. But when even they found it hard to manage, the system transitioned to fully nuclear families—with no one left to shoulder the responsibility. In the end, the children are left without adequate care.
There’s also another layer to consider. I feel that, biologically or socially, women might not feel the same level of urgency or pressure to support the family as men do. Some may argue that women work too—and yes, they do. But when men earn, it often comes with hurdles, emotional strain, and even humiliation—especially in the workplace. They endure all this not for pride or pleasure, but out of sheer responsibility for their families, particularly their children. In contrast, many working women today face fewer obstacles or social pressures in their jobs, and often earn money in ways that feel more accessible or less punishing. As a result, they may not always see their income as a sacrifice, nor feel the same emotional weight behind it. In that sense, what we traditionally called “motherhood”—a selfless, often invisible form of dedication—is increasingly showing up in modern fatherhood. So perhaps, fatherhood is becoming the new motherhood.
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